Tag Archives: October

31 Days of Horror Movie: Insidious (2010; PG-13; 103 min)

Posted on October 4, 2011 | 3 comments

I have been wanting to see this movie since it was first released in theaters as it looked like my kind of horror movie: some ghosts, some paranormal stuff, some haunted houses, some great scares. And I wasn’t disappointed…with the first half of the movie, that is! I’ll get to the second half in a minute.

Insidious opens with Josh and Renai, who have just moved into a new house with their two sons and baby daughter (who, by the way, cries constantly in the beginning of the movie and will drive you kind of crazy). Renai tells Josh, “I just want things to be different in this house.” Now, that is the first and last reference to the fact that something needs to be different and that’s why they moved, unless there’s some prequel or something accidentally left off of my DVD.

Right away, the couple’s oldest son Dalton falls in the attic and slips into a coma. Three months later, he is brought home to lay in bed for almost the rest of the movie (that’s some foreshadowing for you…you’re welcome). Renai begins to hear nicely creepy, whispery voices over the baby monitor, then sees figures around the house, etc. and each time the experience intensifies until she convinces Josh the house is haunted and they must move again. Now mind you, this is AFTER their other son says he is scared and doesn’t want to sleep in the same room as Dalton anymore because, he explains, “I don’t like when he walks around at night.” They just seem to ignore that tidbit. Nevertheless, this is the part of the movie I loved, because it was sufficiently, yes, CREEPY!

The second half of the movie showed promise, but became too silly to believe (see, I like to believe in the goings-on in horror movies as that’s what scares me – the possibility they could happen to me). The family moves to a new home, but when things are still weird (and trust me on this, you will never hear Tiptoe Through the Tulips again and not freak out), they call in a medium-type woman, friend of Josh’s mother, to help them rid their house of these malevolent entities and save their son. Okay so far.

But here’s where Insidious goes way off course, bordering on slapstick at times. Turns out the medium and her sidekicks believe Dalton is in The Further, and they have a plan to bring him back using a gas mask with an elephant trunk, a viewfinder toy, and lots of flashlights and cameras. Huh? The rest of the movie is spent in this fashion, with an admittedly fun twist at the very end, but it can’t be saved from its own foolishness. Too bad, ’cause I really liked the first half.

  • Top Scare: In the baby’s room
  • Heartbeats: 4 out of five (first half); 2 out of 5 (last half)
  • Gore Factor: 1 out of 5
  • Suspense Factor: 3 1/4 out of 5
  • Recommended for: Mature 13’s and up

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Horror Movie: Bereavement (2011; R; 103 min)

Posted on October 3, 2011 | Leave a comment

Part of my 31 Days of Horror…

A horror movie with a mission? A slasher fest with a message? Well, not exactly, but that’s what Bereavement pretends to be when it tries to answer this: What would it be like if a sadistic, psychotic killer took a young child under his wing, one with CIPA (Congenital Insensitivity to Pain, where a person cannot feel physical pain), in an effort to understand how fear and feeling interact? Uh, no, thanks; I like my horror movies without a message, thanks.

Bereavement opens in 1989 in PA, where a young CIPA boy named Martin Bristoll is kidnapped by Sutter, the above-mentioned crazy guy who lives next to his deceased father’s abandoned slaughterhouse. Sutter knows of Martin’s rare condition, and begins using the boy to clean up after his own slaughters (doesn’t anyone in these small towns ever notice when teen girls go missing for several years and doesn’t anyone ever think of checking the abandoned slaughterhouse for them and/or the killer?) and to try to teach the girls not to fear pain by cutting Martin in front of them. At least I think that’s his mission, but he also talks and listens to various steer skulls he has hanging around, who may or may not represent his dead father, and that’s where things get kind of fuzzy.


Fast forward five years and enter seventeen-year-old Allison, whose parents have just died and who is moving in with her Uncle John, his wife, and their young daughter Wendy. Uncle John happens to live just up the road from Sutter, though far enough away apparently to never hear screams coming from the twisty, dark, maze-like barn-ish slaughterhouse. He has also never seen Martin there, even though Allison does the first day while out running along the road.

For the next long hour or so, we see Sutter at work on various girls (think blood, gore, and knives), Martin cowering and scrubbing stalls, and hear gems such as, “Silence is the sound of no fear, no pain. The sound of peace. I envy your serenity.” (Just one golden nugget offered to Martin by Sutter). This drags on for quite a while, until Allison once again catches sight of Martin at the slaughterhouse, and goes in to try to help him escape.

Now I know you’re all shaking your heads about now, wondering why the teenage girl always has to do something all alone, in the middle of nowhere, that’s just so stupid. Well, because it’s a horror movie, silly, and we wouldn’t be watching if everyone just sat around singing campfire songs, now would we? So, instead, wonder: does Allison help Martin escape? Does Sutter “get his” in the end? And do those ugly skulls ever stop talking, even though no one but Sutter can hear them? Better yet, wonder: “Why did I rent this movie in the first place?” as that may make more sense than the disappointing ending to this movie which will only leave you Bereaved over losing your money!

  • Top Scare: Sutter creeping up behind Martin
  • Hearbeats: 2 1/4 out of 5
  • Gore Factor: 3 1/2 out of 5
  • Suspense Factor: 2 out of 5
  • Recommended for: 18 and up, due to gore and the child being hurt (even though this is shown very little).

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Horror Movie: The Last Exorcism (2010; PG-13; 87 min)

Posted on October 2, 2011 | Leave a comment

I had hoped to begin my 31 Days of Horror with a true horror movie, but instead discovered a wanna-be. Needless to say, I was disappointed, not to mention cheated of almost and hour and a half of my life, dear friend, in an effort to “hold out for the good part” I was sure would be coming if I just stuck it out.

The Last Exorcism is filmed documentary-style, shaky hand-held camera and all, a la The Blair Witch. Reverend Cotton Marcus of Baton Rouge, LA, has been preaching since he was a child, and has performed numerous supposed exorcisms. Turns out, he is a bit of a magician who likes to use tricks and stunts to convince families the demon has left the building, all in an effort to support his wife and kid. As part of a documentary shoot, he agrees to answer a letter from a Mr. Sweetzer whose livestock is being slaughtered at night, and who is convinced his 16-year-old daughter Nell is possessed and responsible. Mr. Sweetzer asks the Good Reverend to perform an exorcism to rid Nell of this demon. The Reverend agrees, and performs one of his fake exorcisms, all while being filmed.

Of course, you can predict what happens next: maybe Nell really is possessed and it will all come back to haunt the Reverend, right? Well, sort of. Some decent body twisting special effects ensue, as does lots of blood and nighttime creepy baby crying noises, etc. Problem is, none of it is scary in the least. What may be perhaps the scariest part of the movie, I’m afraid, is the surprise ending, and not scary in a good OMG-How will I get to sleep tonight-I’m about to throw up and I love it, kind of way either! Instead, scary as in, What idiots came up with this ending? kind of way. So save yourself the 87 minutes and the rental fee, and go straight for the classic, The Exorcist (see my review from last year’s October archives)!

  • Top Scare: A baby’s cry
  • Heartbeats: 1 out of 5
  • Gore Factor: 2 out of 5
  • Suspension Factor: 2 out of 5
  • Recommended for: 13 or 14 and up

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31 Days of Horror…Let the Scares Begin!

Posted on September 29, 2011 | 1 comment

One of my favorite times of year is Fall…especially the time leading up to that fun, crazy, scary holiday with great eats. No, I’m not talking about Thanksgiving with the family! I’m referring to that wonderful holiday before that…uh, no, not Veteran’s Day, either. The one before that. Here’s your hint:

That’s right…Halloween! As a huge fan of Halloween (the holiday and the movie, which by the way I cannot watch all the way through because it’s my all-time-scariest-movie), and as a giant fan of the horror movie genre in general, every year I avoid watching the horror movies which have come out that year so that I can watch them all in October. (I also hope that by numbing myself over the month of October by watching hours upon hours of horror, I’ll be able to watch Halloween on Halloween, all the way to the end, without chickening out. So far, I have not succeeded.)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Anyway, last year I realized I had fallen a couple years behind in watching horror movies, so I decided I would watch one horror movie every day of October and offer up my reviews here. I chose many new movies I had held off on seeing all year, plus plenty of classics…

and a few not-so-classics, as it turns out…

…which I wanted to re-watch or experience for the first time. And I sprinkled in some other Halloween-related tidbits, such as info on my yearly search for THE PERFECT COSTUME. I had such a great time, I’ve decided to continue, and expand, my efforts this year!

Here’s my plan: just like last year, when I watch a horror movie, I will tell you a bit about it, rate it on a scale of 1 to 5 heartbeats for how scary each is, and tell you who I recommend it for. I promise to be careful to give spoiler alerts if I plan to reveal something important so you can enjoy the movie just like I did. Also, once again I’ll throw in Halloween-related extras along the way, such as cool facts on ghostly goings-on in the area, etc. I’d like to get your feedback on any movies you’ve seen or would like me to review, or on any Halloween events you’ve attended, as well!

Please join me as I once again try to scare myself silly (not hard to do!) during the 31 Days of Horror!

P.S. To read all of my reviews from last year’s 31 Days of Horror, simply click on “October 2010” in the archives to the right and it will take you to my reviews!

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Horror Movie: Halloween (Director’s Cut) (R; 2007; 109 min.)

Posted on November 1, 2010 | Leave a comment

This remake of my all-time scariest movie is a darker, deeper and more brutal version than the original. The first 26 minutes are devoted to Michael Myers as a long-haired 10-year-old child living in a heinous home filled with cussing, booze, sexual overtures and abuse. It is Halloween. Michael snaps when, sitting outside the principal’s office at school, he overhears a psychologist talking to his mother (a pole-dancer by trade) about photos of tortured animals the principal found in Michael’s backpack. That night, while Mommy is dancing and Big Sis is getting it on with her boyfriend upstairs instead of taking him trick-or-treating, Michael dons a clown mask and brutally murders his injured step-father (good riddance to that sicko!), his sister’s boyfriend, and then his older sister (as she is listening to “Don’t Fear the Reaper” on headphones). Finally, he picks up his baby sister and says, “Happy Halloween Belle.”

Flash forward 11 months to the local sanitorium, where Michael is being held and treated by Dr. Samuel Loomis. Dr. Loomis is not making much progress with Michael, who would rather design, create and wear strange masks and ask him why he “talks funny.” When his mother visits, he says, “Hey, Mommy, is everyone at home okay?” as if he has forgotten the havok he wreaked less than a year earlier. Little by little, Michael draws in upon himself and stops talking. When he is left alone briefly with a nurse who insults him, he forks her neck. His mom just can’t take being the mother of Satan any longer and shoots herself, leaving behind his baby sister to be adopted out as “Laurie.”

Flash forward again, 15 years down the road. Michael still has not spoken during all these years. He is enormously tall, with disgusting feet, and he wears an orange mask he has made. When two night guards taunt him in his room (beware the brutal rape of a fellow inmate in this scene…not for the squeamish!), he kills them and escapes, heading back to his hometown . On Halloween, he finds Laurie’s new family and one by one picks them off in various bloody ways, now wearing his trademark emotionless-face mask which he had hidden in his boyhood home (boarded up and abandoned) all these years. Dr. Loomis heads there to help find him and “talk him down” apparently. Fool.

The next hour is spent in bloodbath after bloodbath. However, we are spared much of the scares involved in the original movie, those of anticipation, since the scenes are so darkly lit we can’t really make out what is happening and how close he is to reaching someone and killing them. He does find Laurie during this time, and many, many, many, many minutes later the doctor also finds them and tries to help Laurie. The ending is very unsatisfying and is drawn out much longer than necessary. Ugh! I’ll stick with the original version of Halloween every time and recommend that you do too!

  • Top Scare: Family Michael grows up in
  • Heartbeats: 3 3/4 out of 5
  • Gore Factor: 4 out of 5
  • Suspense Factor: 3 1/2 out of 5
  • Recommended for: 18 and up for cussing, abuse, nudity and sex scenes, gore and brutality

Next up: Parasomnia

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Horror Movie: Nine Dead (R; 2010; 98 min.)

Posted on October 30, 2010 | Leave a comment

Sabrina the Teenage Witch, aka Melissa Joan Hart, stars in this listless Saw-wannabe movie set almost entirely in a small windowless cement room. It is well-lit however, the better to see the blood spatter and sidewalk-chalk writings. Huh? Okay, let me back up a bit.

Nine people are kidnapped and find themselves handcuffed separately to metal poles in this cement room. The kidnapper, wearing a blue face-hugging mask and a hood to conceal his identity, tells them they must figure out why they are ALL there or he will shoot one of them every 10 minutes. He then throws a handful of colorful sidewalk chalk into the room for them to write with. So they immediately get down to business trying to figure it all out! No, actually, they waste lots of time arguing about inane things like is this some sort of sick game, are cops good or not, does the admitted pedophile in the room deserve to go first, etc. One of the nine does not even speak English, so they waste time watching her gesture as well.

When the kidnapper returns after 10 minutes on the dot (we know, because he has conveniently place a clock in the room for all to see and hear), he takes out his first victim. In shock, the remaining eight waste even more time shaking their heads and trying to close their dropped jaws. Then they waste even more time arguing about this or that or the other (so much arguing!), that several more of them are picked off as well. But little by little, they start to figure out some connections…will they figure out why EVERY ONE of them was placed there to begin with in time, though? Or will the possibility of Ten Dead be DOA? Watch this horrible horror movie only if you really must find out!

  • Top Scare: Uh, I’m thinking…can’t think of one though!
  • Heartbeats: 1/2 out of 5
  • Gore Factor: 3 out of 5
  • Suspense Factor: 1 out of 5
  • Recommended for: No one, but if you must, 16 and up

Next up: Frozen

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Horror Movie: Nightmare on Elm Street (R; 1984; 91 min.)

Posted on October 30, 2010 | Leave a comment

Wow…what a blast from the past this was, with hair that defies gravity (on a mom, no less), sweater vests over polyester tan pants, pre-computer teen bedrooms, and kids who wear actual pj’s to bed! Now, growing up on Elm Street, this movie arrived when I was 16 years old to scare the aaaahhhhh! out of me. Especially when watched again later at home on video (VHS, not BETA) with family members – during one intense phone call scene from the killer late in the movie, our phone rang at the exact same moment! Double aaaaahhhhh!

Director Wes Craven’s horror movie status took off with this story about teenager Nancy (played so incredibly badly by Heather Langenkamp it was painful to watch at times…worst fake-crying I’ve ever seen! Her lips and face barely move when she talks too!) and her three friends (another aside: Nancy’s boyfriend Glen is played by the incredibly young, pre-voice change, preppily-dressed Johnny Depp!) who discover they are having the same nightmare each night. Whew! The nightmare features Fred (not Freddy yet) Krueger, an incredibly freaky man with oozing burns covering his face and wearing razor-sharp knife-fingered gloves on his hands. He does sport a stylish red and green-striped sweater though!

Anyway, this charred man, it turns out, is chasing these teens in their dreams, with the ability to slash them up and make them levitate, spin and slide up the walls and ceiling while dangling upside down and squirting blood like a geyser. Oh, and he can pull them into his world through their mattresses! Of course, none of the adults around believe them about this man in their dreams, even as one by one they all are gorily picked off.

Parents: “Gee, what a coincidence that all of our teenagers are dying gruesome deaths and the survivors all claim it was this disfigured man in their nightmares who is doing it, but who is dead already. We know because we killed this child murderer years ago in a horrible, fiery way, so he couldn’t possibly be here now! (He’s dead honey, because Mommy killed him!) Wonder who it could really be?” Teens: “Don’t make me go to sleep, Mom! I’ll stay awake for 7 days, take STA-AWAKE pills, and hide entire coffee makers under my nightstand if you try to make me go to sleep! No wait, I WILL go to sleep and I’ll pull this crazed killer back into the real world with me when I wake up. I’ll set up elaborate traps for him there too, using the convenient razor wire and sledgehammer I found nearby. Then you can bonk him over the head with a bat!” You get the idea…

So, will any of the teens survive to make the 17 sequels? Will Fred become Freddy before N.O.E.S 2? Will the parents quit drinking booze from clear glass bottles they’ve hidden in every room of the house? Watch this classic (best to watch with friends while drinking for some great laughs!) and find out!

  • Top Scare: Boiler room scenes
  • Heartbeats: 2 1/2 out of 5
  • Gore Factor: 4 out of 5 (lots of scenes are gory, but I can’t handle watching bugs crawl out of people’s mouths!)
  • Suspense Factor: 3 out of 5
  • Recommended for: 17 and up

Next up: Nine Dead

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Horror Movie: The Shining (R; 1980; 144 min.)

Posted on October 29, 2010 | Leave a comment

One of my top five horror movies (gotta love Stephen King…he can really dream things up, can’t he?), The Shining is about why no writer-wannabe should live for the winter in a snowy, isolated, mountain-top lodge where murders occurred. Write that tip down now!

No, actually, The Shining is about a former teacher, the amazing Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrance, who is trying his hand at writing. He takes a job as winter caretaker of a remote lodge, The Overlook Hotel, in the mountains of Colorado. In 1970, the previous caretaker had murdered his wife and two daughters there. But that history doesn’t faze Jack, because he’s looking for peace and quiet for his writing. Sorry, Jack, ain’t gonna happen!

Soon after he moves his wife and son there, Jack begins to change, becoming a mean, cussing, hallucinating still-wannabe writer (he does finally complete a manuscript…more on that later). His son Danny sees the two murdered girls around the hotel (“Hello, Danny. Come and play with us. Forever and ever and ever.”) and visions of blood gushing from elevator doors. How can that be? Well,  according to Dick Halloran, the bowlegged hotel’s chef who met him before leaving for the season, Danny shares Dick’s special abilities known as “The Shining,” where they can “see” things and talk to each other without speaking. Danny’s pointer finger, known as Tony, also talks to Danny in a creepy, gravelly voice, telling him things. Hmmm.

As a record snowstorm hits, and Jack gets meaner and Danny’s visions get more bloody (don’t go near room 237, REDRUM!, REDRUM!), Wendy Torrance, Jack’s wife, discovers his manuscript. Hundreds of pages long, she reads just about every single one for the camera to show us they all say “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Now she’s SURE he’s gone bonkers, so she hits him with a bat, locks him in a walk-in freezer and takes off to save Danny.

Well, a ghost has soon freed Jack (!), and Jack is soon chasing his wife and son. Wendy manages to shove Danny out of their bathroom window onto a conveniently located two-story snowdrift below, but she can’t fit herself through the opening. Jack begins axeing down the door (Here’s Johnny!), but is distracted when he hears the motor of a snowcab outside. After easily disposing of this nuisance (the chef who came back to help when Danny sent him a mind message), he’s back looking for his family again. What follows is a great chase scene through a snowy outdoor maze where Danny tricks his dad. And meanwhile, Olive Oyl/Shelley Duvall is running/jerking through the hotel looking for Danny carrying a large knife, encountering various bloody elevators and ballrooms full of dead people herself! Will Wendy and Danny escape Jack’s crazed efforts at killing them? Will Danny stop talking to his finger and use it to pick his nose again instead? Will the snow ever melt in Colorado? You must watch to find out!

  • Top Scare: Tony the talking finger
  • Heartbeats: 3 1/2 out of 5
  • Gore Factor: 4 out of 5
  • Suspense Factor: 3 1/2 out of 5
  • Recommended for: 15 and up, mainly due to cussing and gore

Next up: Friday the 13th

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Horror Movie: Scream (R; 1996; 111 min.)

Posted on October 29, 2010 | Leave a comment

How can a horror movie go wrong when Wes Craven is directing it? I love this movie not only for its good scares, but also for its fun and funny horror movie self-references, its knowledge that it is a standard horror movie with all the tricks and subplots that implies. Plus, it has some major star power with Drew Barrymore, David Arquette, Courteney Cox, Neve Campbell…the list goes on!

Neve is Sidney, a high school girl whose mother was brutally murdered the previous year. In fact, almost EXACTLY one year ago…the anniversary is only a day or two away! Well, of course her father goes away on a business trip, leaving her alone at this crucial time, and her boyfriend starts pressuring her once again for sex. Nice people, huh? Meanwhile, two classmates are murdered (Drew Barrymore is excellent in this role as the typical blonde being tormented and chased while she’s all alone, and I was sad she doesn’t make it past the first 10 minutes of the movie), and the kids’ school goes on full alert.

Enter the ultimate high school principal: THE FONZ! He tries to keep the teens safe, while a local news anchorwoman, Gale Weathers (ha! ha!), tries to get the scoop. Poor Sidney encounters “Father Death,” the costumed/masked killer around every corner, but manages to escape time and again. Finally, due to the killings, school is cancelled. So – of course! – the kids throw a party and watch the ultimate horror movie, Halloween, while drinking and making out. As the death toll rises one by one, Sidney must fight for her life, especially when she discovers who is behind all the killings, and why!

  • Top Scare: Early “Father Death” chase scenes
  • Heartbeats: 3 out of 5
  • Gore Factor: 4 1/4 out of 5
  • Suspense Factor: 4 out of 5
  • Recommended for: 17 and up for language, gory deaths, scare factor, and sexual situations

Next up: The Shining

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Horror Movie: An American Haunting (UR; 2005; 83 min.)

Posted on October 29, 2010 | Leave a comment

While this movie was basically trashed by reviewers when it was first released, I myself enjoyed it very much. There were even a couple “jump out of my skin” moments, which I love to have in a horror movie. What’s the point of watching a scary movie if you don’t actually feel scared?

An American Haunting is based on the true story of the Bell Witch, featuring the only case in American history in which the U.S. government listed a “spirit” as the cause of someone’s death. Cool. It stars Sissy Spacek and Donald Sutherland as Lucy and John Bell of Red River, Tennessee, whose daughter Betsy is tormented by an evil spirit after John’s swindling of a witchy neighbor. Bad move, John!

The time period is 1817…except, of course, when we see a minor parallel plot occurring in the modern-day home featuring another young, pretty girl who found Lucy’s journal in her attic…still with me? Good. Back to 1817. Now, very quickly this evil spirit escalates into dragging poor Betsy across the floor, up the stairs (on her back, no less…ow!) and around the rooms. It also alternately pins her to the bed and dangles her in the air while slapping her around. There are a lot of creaky old doors and floorboards in the Bell house too, plus very foggy nights outside, all lending themselves to the spooky atmosphere. And the spirit itself actually talks to the family and the friends they have called in for help! A cross goes flying, a bible spits pages into the air…the list goes on and on. I loved the special effects, even if they weren’t very imaginative.

As John’s health begins to fail, and his neighbor claims “there is no curse,” the family tries to “spirit away” Betsy to another location, thinking the evil spirit lives only in their home. WRONG! Boy does the spirit get mad this time! The incidents continue, growing more threatening each time. Eventually, though, the spirit is satisfied when it claims the one it is truly after!

  • Top Scare: a couple dream sequences
  • Heartbeats: 3 3/4 out of 5
  • Gore Factor: 1 out of 5
  • Suspense Factor: 4 out of 5
  • Recommended for: 13 and up

Next up: Scream

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