Tag Archives: Amityville Horror

31 Days of Horror: The Amityville Asylum (NR; 2013; 91 min)

Posted on October 9, 2015 | 1 comment

amityville asylum

I am so happy, dear viewer, to save you from wasting 1 -1/2 hours of your life by telling you to run far, far away from this B-level “horror” movie. No, wait. That’s insulting to B movies! Let’s just say: don’t bother wasting your time or money.

Drawn in by the lure of the Amityville franchise, I didn’t exactly have high hopes for this movie set at the High Hopes Psychiatric Hospital, but thought I might get at least a good scare or two. What I endured instead was a slow, tedious, foreign knock-off with terrible acting, weird POV shots, and a plot out of Horror 101.

Annoying: we are supposed to believe the H.H. Hospital was recently built and opened at the sight of the Amityville Horror house in New York. However, every character in the movie minus one speaks in an undeniable foreign accent (plus, one annoying girl calls it the “Uh-meaty-ville House), so it’s pretty obvious we are not on the New York side of the pond. We are also supposed to believe that five-minute slow conversations, long readings from books about a Native American/cult tie-in , and non-pertinent-to-plot, cleaning-with-chemicals advice during a movie are not boring; that criminally insane patients are always locked up in cave-like basements with no guards, yet their hallway needs a nightly mopping; and that an entire mental hospital runs at night without nurses (only two orderlies) and with just one doctor. Even without all these issues, the movie offers no scares, just a bit of gore, and shouldn’t be allowed to use the good Amityville name.

  • Top Scare: Hallway surprise
  • Heartbeats: 1/2 out of 5
  • Gore Factor: 2 out of 5
  • Suspense Factor: 1/2 out of 5
  • Recommended for: Burning. But if you must: 15 or older.

 

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31 Day of Horror: Mama (PG-13; 2013; 100 min)

Posted on October 30, 2013 | Leave a comment

mama

When two girls, Victoria and Lilly, are found after being left alone in a cabin in the woods for five years, their uncle takes on the challenge of trying to raise them. With the help of a psychiatrist, he and his girlfriend begin to make progress, such as getting them to walk upright and stop eating cherries for every meal (or certain creatures, as eventually becomes the case). But it soon becomes clear that they weren’t alone in that cabin after all – Mama was with them. And Mama does not want to give them up quite so easily.

With an almost unrecognizable Jessica Chastain, and an adorable Megan Charpentier as Victoria, Mama has a solid, believable cast. The majority of the movie is suspenseful, quite scary, and a bit gruesome, thanks to some great special effects. I was disappointed in the surreal-type ending, however, and wish the movie had stuck more closely with its horror theme. All in all, a great scare for your 31 Days of Horror.

  • Top Scare: Any with Mama
  • Heartbeats: 4 out of 5
  • Gore Factor: 2 1/2 out of 5
  • Suspense Factor: 4 out of 5
  • Recommended for: 14 or 15 and up

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31 Days of Horror: House at the End of the Street (PG-13; 2012; 101 min)

Posted on October 29, 2013 | Leave a comment

house at end of street

With Jennifer Lawrence, Max Thieriot, and Elisabeth Shue, I was happy to give this movie a try, and I’m glad I did. Though not the scariest of plots, it did have a few good jump-out-of-my-seat moments, some good suspense, and an interesting story. Plus, it had not just one, but two or three twists thrown in, and I’m a sucker for plot twists!

Teenager Elissa (Lawrence) and her wildish mom Sarah (an amazing-looking Shue) have just rented a house in the woods. They got it for a steal since the house next door was the location of a family slaying – a not-quite-all-there girl (Carrie Anne) had murdered her mother and father one night before disappearing into the woods to never be seen again. When they discover the girl’s brother, Ryan, has moved back into the abandoned house after many years staying with an Aunt, Elissa strikes up a friendship with him. As the friendship deepens, Sarah tries to put a stop to it, but Elissa is too clever for that.

Now, Ryan is a quiet, shy type of college kid, fixing up his family home in hopes to sell it one day. But as time goes on, we learn that there’s something very odd going on in Ryan’s house, something that involves Carrie Anne, who may or may not have disappeared for good on that fateful night. And just when you think you’ve figured it out – TWIST – you have to look at things differently. And as soon as you’re comfortable with that -TWIST – you have to figure it all out again. But it doesn’t stop there…you’ll be thinking this movie through right up to the very end!

  • Top Scare: In Ryan’s house
  • Heartbeats: 3 out of 5
  • Gore Factor: 2 1/2 out of 5
  • Suspense Factor: 3 1/4 out of 5
  • Recommended for: 14 and up

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31 Days of Horror: Tips Your House Might Be Haunted

Posted on October 11, 2011 | 10 comments

It seems people in movies and on TV shows who so obviously live in a house with ghosts or other spirits, just can’t accept the fact that houses should not glow and doors should not suddenly lock or unlock on their own. They don’t seem to believe their house truly is hosting a party of the paranormal, and so call in the “experts” to take readings and the such, when in fact, all they really need to do is refer to my handy checklist below. It’s specially designed to take the guesswork out of the haunting once and for all!

Simply put a G (for Ghost) next to any of the items below you have experienced in the past year or which describe your living situation. Then total up your G’s and refer to the chart at the bottom to discover whether your house is merely a bit “different” or whether you need to hightail it out of there ASAP!

1. Your house sits on top of, or near, an ancient Indian burial ground, or a pet or other cemetery.

2. You have a housekeeper or butler, of indeterminate age, who “came with” the house.

3. Your house seems to attract lots of flies or spiders.

4. Your house’s upstairs windows look like evil eyes.

5. A kooky person nearby is always warning you, “That place is evil!” or “You’re gonna die!”

6. You have a door under your main staircase which always seems to lock on its own, or pull-down attic stairs which always seem to be calling you forth.

7. Your dog barks at thin air and your cats screech at the basement door.

8. Your realtor mentioned once (very quickly and quietly) that another lovely family just like yours had once lived there, and no one seems to remember where they moved on to.

9. Your basement hosts an old, creaky elevator used in olden days to transport animals for slaughter and curing.

10. You often think you hear angelic children singing when you light a fire in the fireplace.

1-3 G’s: Consider having your house blessed.

4-6 G’s: Call in The Exorcist.

7-10 G’s: Burn the place down and move to Rome.

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31 Days of Horror Movie: The Resident (2010; R; 91 min)

Posted on October 11, 2011 | Leave a comment

So not purely a horror movie, The Resident is still a suspensful thriller with a good cast. And, okay, the building is kind of old and scary, so that makes it a bit more on the horror-movie side than not. See, horror movies really need a good, creepy building to help them make you squirm. Think the Bates Motel. Think Michael Myers’ childhood home. Think Amityville Horror’s all-seeing-eyes house. The list goes on and on!

Now, back to the movie.

The Resident stars Hilary Swank as Juliet, an ER doc who’s just separated from her husband Jack and is looking for a place to live. She conveniently finds an unbelievable deal on a huge (by NYC and any other city’s standards) apartment in a building owned by Max (hot, hot Jeffrey Dean Morgan). Max lives there with his withering, old grandfather August, while he is renovating the apartment building. He moves in and out of rooms and behind walls to get around the building, and we soon learn he has developed a wee bit of a crush (!!) on Juliet. So much so, in fact, he takes to drugging her wine so he can lick her pinky while she’s knocked out. And use her toothbrush. And, uh, “hang out” in her tub.

Juliet meanwhile decides to give Jack another chance, and begins seeing him. She can’t figure out, though, why she keeps oversleeping each day. So, putting two and nine together, she decides to hire someone to install security cameras in her apartment. Huh? Wonder if I missed something there?

Anyway, as Max’s little crush gets more and more out of hand, and Juliet’s recycling bin for bottles gets more and more full from all the wine she drinks each night, and as August gets creepier and creepier, The Resident builds to a bit of a long, drawn-out conclusion that will nevertheless make you think twice before renting from a hot landlord in NYC!

  • Top Scare: Bathroom
  • Heartbeats: 2 1/2 out of 5
  • Gore Factor: 2 out of 5
  • Suspense Factor: 3 3/4 out of 5
  • Recommended for: 17 and up

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31 Days of Horror…Let the Scares Begin!

Posted on September 29, 2011 | 1 comment

One of my favorite times of year is Fall…especially the time leading up to that fun, crazy, scary holiday with great eats. No, I’m not talking about Thanksgiving with the family! I’m referring to that wonderful holiday before that…uh, no, not Veteran’s Day, either. The one before that. Here’s your hint:

That’s right…Halloween! As a huge fan of Halloween (the holiday and the movie, which by the way I cannot watch all the way through because it’s my all-time-scariest-movie), and as a giant fan of the horror movie genre in general, every year I avoid watching the horror movies which have come out that year so that I can watch them all in October. (I also hope that by numbing myself over the month of October by watching hours upon hours of horror, I’ll be able to watch Halloween on Halloween, all the way to the end, without chickening out. So far, I have not succeeded.)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Anyway, last year I realized I had fallen a couple years behind in watching horror movies, so I decided I would watch one horror movie every day of October and offer up my reviews here. I chose many new movies I had held off on seeing all year, plus plenty of classics…

and a few not-so-classics, as it turns out…

…which I wanted to re-watch or experience for the first time. And I sprinkled in some other Halloween-related tidbits, such as info on my yearly search for THE PERFECT COSTUME. I had such a great time, I’ve decided to continue, and expand, my efforts this year!

Here’s my plan: just like last year, when I watch a horror movie, I will tell you a bit about it, rate it on a scale of 1 to 5 heartbeats for how scary each is, and tell you who I recommend it for. I promise to be careful to give spoiler alerts if I plan to reveal something important so you can enjoy the movie just like I did. Also, once again I’ll throw in Halloween-related extras along the way, such as cool facts on ghostly goings-on in the area, etc. I’d like to get your feedback on any movies you’ve seen or would like me to review, or on any Halloween events you’ve attended, as well!

Please join me as I once again try to scare myself silly (not hard to do!) during the 31 Days of Horror!

P.S. To read all of my reviews from last year’s 31 Days of Horror, simply click on “October 2010” in the archives to the right and it will take you to my reviews!

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Horror Movie: The Omen (R; 1976; 111 min.)

Posted on October 17, 2010 | 5 comments

I wanted to watch the original version of this horror classic, not the recent remake, because I believe if it was good enough to want to remake it, it’s pretty good to begin with.

Gregory Peck stars as Robert Thorn, who’s wife has (unbeknownst to her) supposedly just given birth to a stillborn son. A priest shows Thorn another newborn boy who’s mother has just died, and offers him as a replacement saying, “She never has to know.” Let’s see how well that works out for him…

First, we see lovely scenes of the boy, whom they’ve named Damien, growing up a mostly normal child, that is until his fifth birthday party. At this event, Damien’s nanny calls out to him as he plays in the backyard with all the other children at his party, then commits suicide right in front of them all. As Thorn is the American Ambassador to Great Britain, this children’s party is being recorded by various photographers. One, Jennings, starts following Thorn after this incident, taking photos of various priests who seem to always be around Thorn, warning him of his son’s evil-ness, which he doesn’t believe…at first! Meanwhile, a new nanny, Mrs. Baylock, has taken charge of young Damien and vowed to him to keep him safe!

Finally, Jennings convinces Thorn that the devil is involved. Thorn is more sure than ever when his wife miscarries a baby and breaks numerous bones after Damien runs into her with his tricycle as she stands on a ladder to water a plant, causing her to topple two stories down over the bannister. Why does this cause him to believe? Because one of the cuckoo priests had warned him of just such a thing!

Thorn and Jennings head to Rome to look for the priest (different priest, not the cuckoo one) who gave him the newborn Damien that fateful day. When he discovers the grave of Damien’s real mother and sees she was not human, he calls the hospital and tells his wife to leave London immediately. As she already seems to know Damien is evil incarnate, she readies herself to go, but the new nanny, Mrs. Baylock, throws her over the balcony instead.

Still with me? Good. Now, Jennings and Thorn discover a still-different priest who says he can help them – Thorn must kill Damien using these special daggers he provides. Thorn says he cannot do it, Damien is just a child. Jennings says, then I will. But, that doesn’t work out so well for Jennings (don’t want to spoil it here). Thorn changes his mind and heads off to kill his evil son. But will he succeed?

  • Top Scare: Evil dogs
  • Heartbeats: 2 3/4 out of 5
  • Gore Factor: 3 out of 5
  • Suspense Factor: 3 1/2 out of 5
  • Recommended for: 14 and up, mainly due to suicide scene and other death scenes

Next up: Psycho

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Posted in 31 Days of Horror, baby, Exorcism, Hell, horror, Horror Movie, Movies, Omen, Satan, scary movies, Thriller

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Horror Movie: The Amityville Horror (R; 1979; 119 min.)

Posted on October 12, 2010 | Leave a comment

I first saw this movie when I was 11 years old, way too young. In fact for months afterwards, I awoke at 3:15 am every morning in a cold sweat (true story!)…when you watch the movie you’ll learn the significance of 3:15 am. Now that I’m, ahem, a bit older, this movie no longer terrifies me, but I still consider it a horror classic! It features a creepy house that appears to have eyes, lots of plaid shirts, a mom who wears pigtails tied with ribbons, and singing children’s voices as background music. Hard to believe, but those aren’t even the scary parts!

George and Kathy Lutz are newlyweds, and along with Kathy’s three children, they move into this great house on a river where a 20-year-old man killed his parents and siblings one year earlier. They see no problem with this, since “houses don’t have memories,” as one of them says. Or do they?

Just fourteen minutes into the movie, we learn that flies enjoy one room in the house in particular as they swarm the priest who is alone in it, blessing the house. An evil digital voice cries, “Get out,” which he does, falling very ill over the next two weeks while no one believes his assertions that the house is evil.

Meanwhile, the young girl of the family, Amy, has befriended an “imaginary” girl/spirit named Jody who resides in the house. One night Jody keeps Amy from releasing her sitter (decked out in full retainer headgear) from a “locked” walk-in closet she had gone into. Hours later, Mom and Dad return home to release the sitter from the magically unlocked closet and scold Amy for being so mean. When they learn Jody was the cause, the warning bells do not go off yet. In fact, that doesn’t start happening even when George becomes obsessed with splitting logs in the back yard instead of going to work, a nun related to Kathy stops by but runs right out again, the family dog tries to dig up part of the basement until his paws are bloody, and George’s business partner’s girlfriend “feels” the evil emanating from the house and retreats quickly to the car.

The Lutz’s continue on in their fine new home until one night, the front door to the house blows off its hinges. “What was that?” Kathy yells. “I don’t know. You stay up here,” George replies, running down the stairs. “Like hell!” Kathy says, following him. Good stuff.

Then, finally, we learn that the house itself is located in a devil worship location, and that “energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only change forms.” The business partner’s friend goes into the basement and her voice changes to a deep growl that warns them to “Find the well…it’s the passage to hell.” Hmmm. Maybe we should move, after all, honey? But as the Lutz’s try to escape their possessed home, the real horror begins! Cue the singing children…

  • Top Scare: A surprise visitor on a dark night
  • Heartbeats: 2 out of 5
  • Gore Factor: 2 1/2 out of 5, mainly from Kathy’s dream
  • Suspense Factor: 2 3/4 out of 5
  • Recommended for: 13-14 and up

Next up: The Fourth Kind

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